God! I haven’t been on this one since February. I’ve done a little more on ohiowriter4hire.blogspot.com.
So it’s time to catch up.
It’s Friday night and I’m home alone with two dogs, three cats and a South Park marathon playing in the background. Is it as sad as it sounds? Probably so.
So I’m in the middle of exchanging a strange conversation with my friend and former college English professor, Rich McKee, who is probably one of the brainiest people I’ve ever met…and really funny too.
He lives in Florida and made the mistake of referencing the “skunk ape” on a Facebook posting. Of course, I had to ask what the skunk ape is.
Seems different parts of the country have different versions of Bigfoot. In Florida, it’s the Skunk Ape. Here in Ohio, it’s the Grassman. (you’d think the Grassman would be in Florida.)
Rich said of the Grassman: “I’ve heard a little about Grassman, but I suspected it was some legendary drug dealer from Mingo Junction.”
See why I find him so funny?
So that led me to tell him something that popped into my mind one day while I was driving home from Cadiz.
Cadiz, Ohio is directly in the middle of nothing. Hillsides one way, reclaimed coal mines the other, and you have to drive on winding roads through lots of trees to get anywhere. The wild deer and turkeys play kamakaze with moving vehicles.
And one evening, as I was driving home, this random thought popped into my mind:
What if Bigfoot jumped in front of my car right now?
Of course, I’m a writer and overall creative person, and another random thought popped into my mind.
Bigfoot standing in the road, going ROOOOARRRRR!
And I started laughing. And I laughed all the way home. I’m laughing now as I type this.
Sometimes I think I may be completely deranged.
So if you have random thoughts that pop into your mind that worry you or scare you, or even make you laugh like a loon, does that mean you have serious problems?
Here’s some of the thoughts that I often think:
1. Why are the lyrics to the banana phone song so freaking catchy? Is it a plot to make us buy bananas or phones? Ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone…
2. What color is my hair, really? Ok, I color it a lot, like once a month, and I highlight it. So what color would it be if I didn’t do all that?
3. Once I went out in my yard and a giant ball mushroom was growing. I pulled it out and then it grew again. So now every time it rains I think I’m going to find a mushroom. What if it wasn’t a mushroom at all?
4. Why does every woman in Self magazine have on a bikini? It’s a magazine for women. That’s not MY self, no matter who I sell my soul to.
5. Is it weird to think Hugh Jackman is even hotter when his claws are out when he’s being Wolverine?
6. What are my cats really thinking? Are they plotting?
I’d write more, but the South Park episode with the giant guinea pigs is on, and I’m sure I’ll obsess over it too, when I quit laughing.
